We all lose someone. Someone we love, someone we spent time with, someone we made memories with. Every culture celebrates the life of loved ones in different ways. Some funerals may be lively with music and laughter. Others may be somber with silence. But all have in common the shared pain of losing a loved one.
As I grow older, I lose more loved ones. Something that seems to be inevitable as we become part of a larger age group. I remember the death of my next-door neighbors when I was a child. They both were in their nineties. The husband passed away first, several months before his wife. I remember as kids, we were told that he asked for a blanket before he died. In our childhood minds, we thought of death as a cold place. We were mesmerized with wonder. Did he know he was going to pass before it happened? How could he have gone so quickly right after asking for a blanket?
Within a year later, his wife died. I remember she kept her wits about her until her last day. She would always ask me about school and swimming. She would tell me to let her know if she repeated herself. The day before she died was the only day she repeated her questions to me. After they both died, I remember going into their house with my mom to visit their daughter. She came to arrange the house for sale. Although they had been gone for a while, I remember that the house still felt like they were there.
My family has a saying, “los muertos no huelen las flores,” which means, the dead do not smell the flowers. The meaning is that one should spend time and honor loved ones while they are alive before it is too late. Realizing my mortality, I make it a point to spend time with friends. I look back on fond memories that I have spent with loved ones who passed away.
I take nothing for granted these days. No one of us knows when our last day will be. Let us cherish our loved ones and make those precious memories. Stephen Covey’s book, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” changed my life perspective. He states, “Begin with the end in mind.” This method of thinking how I would like to be remembered at my own funeral has made me aware of how I interact with others. Especially friends and family.
After all, as my late father would say, “We are not guaranteed tomorrow.”
Vela Patria 